Gone with the wind

Gone with the wind

https://youtu.be/dzUWwk29HAk

... and to think that ... we already meant something to each other ... even virtually our bodies trembled with pleasure when we invented crazy imaginations and revealed our secrets to one another .... but today ... today we have become one nothing ... nothing to each other ... everything that made us feel good turned to dust ... and the dust ... is gone with the wind ...

Nothing else to do

When we do everything to be loved and we can not, there is one last resort left: do nothing else.

Therefore, I say, when we do not obtain the love, the affection or the tenderness that we asked for, it would be better to give up and look further for the feelings that denied us. Do not make useless efforts, because love is born, or not, spontaneously, but never by force of imposition.

Sometimes it is useless to try too hard, nothing is achieved, Other times we give nothing and love surrenders at our feet. The feelings are always a surprise! They were never a begging charity, a compassion or a favor bestowed. We almost always love those who love us badly, and despise those who love us best. So, I repeat, when we have done everything to get a love, and failed, there is only one way left ... there is nothing else to do.

More or less...

In Brazil there is a situation that those who do not want to have any more serious relationships live. They use to say they STAY ... A Peruvian girl came to live in Brazil and she could not understand this term. She met a Brazilian guy and started liking him. One day the two of them were in a pub when a young lady passed by and looked at them both very angry. Then the Peruvian girl asked if he knew her and if she had ever been his girlfriend. And he replied: -No! She was my... "more or less" girlfriend. I just STAYED with her... She got confused and disappointed. Then she went to the bathroom, picked up a piece of toilet paper and wrote ... MORE OR LESS GIRLFRIEND ...... Does it have meaning? Thinking about that I'm even worried ... Some people live their lives, more or less how they can ... Having loves, more or less true. But for them the words "more or less" are so long, That they created another one more or less similar - TO STAY
TO STAY is such a difficult verb to understand, but so easy to live ... It is the consumer egoism, it is testing and tasting many "products" ... It is to create a new packaging ... It is to live! AND LIVE!!! But without sharing ... TO STAY is a verb that conjugates good to all those who look for a half-life ... loving always more or less ... But you "more or less" guys shall remember that: for every "more or less" girlfriend, there will always be "ONE MORE OR LESS MAN" ... Then she took the toilet paper with her poem and handed it to the guy saying: Take this paper and clean the shit that you made with my expectations.


Nowadays she says that a lot has changed in her concepts, in her ideas. But not much... Just "more or less"...

Like Crazy

Your silence is the most perfect expression of scorn...That's why I am leaving...

I just do bullshit  in your presence...

When I should speak I get silent,  I say nonsense after another when best should be silent...

I make bad jokes, look like crazy and suffer before, during and after seeing you...

I will not be here anymore because there is no future and this is not the most difficult to deal,  worse is that there is no present and the past is more fluid than air...

I will not be here anymore because there is nothing I can redeem...

My absence is coward but watchful, a bit bogus a bit authentic, because leaving  is a game of patience for me. Vanishing is a risk but also wisdom...

I look disinterested, but I am not, I am leaving because this is the only way for you to always be by my side, even if only in my imagination...

Longing (Saudade) will do more for me than the love I feel for you and for my clumsy and thoughtless stay.

Be happy.

Take him out of your head

You were in love with someone and he drove you away.! It happens more than plane crash disaster with pilgrims and forest fire. Broken hearts is the great national drama. What to do? Not yet released a self-help manual that can eliminate our pain, and friends can only hope a phrase, repeated ad nauseam: Take this guy out of your head!!! It sounds easy... But anyone out there tell me how you take someone from a place so full of mysteries? To like someone is a function of the heart, but forget him is not. It is the task of our little head, which incidentally is ours in terms: there's something in there that acts on its own, without satisfaction. I wish an awareness effort resolve the matter: I do not like him anymore! I do not want to know that boastful! Disappear! One, two and now! It looks like it worked. You go out on the street to test. Yes, you could: windows looked, ate ice cream and flipped through two magazines without shedding a single tear. Until a song begins to play on the radio and everything falls apart. You did not take anything from the head, He is still there, singing softly to you... Tactics. Do not stay home rereading emails or chats and reviewing photos. Go to a party and get dressed to kill! You try but...nothing goes as planned. Couples kissing beside you are like punch in the stomach. You feel like a fool on the dance floor. A guy pulls chat with you and everything he says sounds like what your ex would say, what your ex would do. Call the firefighters!!! Books. A great habit, but instead of abstracting, you begin to think all that the writer writes is for you in particular, it is similar to what you are living, even if you are reading about the eruption of Vesuvius that buried Pompeii!!! Travel. Who will go in the luggage? HE! You're looking at the landscape through the bus window and only you are thinking is where he is now, without noticing that he's right there, stuck on your mind. Get rid of a memory is a slow process, impossible to program. No one can take someone out of head at the time you want, and sometimes the only solution is to reverse the game: instead of trying not to think about the person, exhausting pain. Allow yourself to remember. Cry!, Miss him deeply! One day the wound heals and you, so used to it, eventually forget about it.
With forceps is that the creature does not come out...

https://youtu.be/cIfhMUcVswU

Man and Woman

Man is the highest of creatures; Woman is the most sublime of ideals.

Man is the brain;  Woman is the heart.

The brain produces light;...The heart, love.

The fruitful light... Love resurrects.

Man is strong by reason; Woman is invincible by tears.

The reason convinces ...The tears stir emotions.

Man is capable of all heroism; Woman, of all martyrdoms.

Heroism ennobles... martyrdom sublimates.

Man is a code; Woman is a gospel.

The code corrects... the gospel perfects.

Man is a temple;  Woman is the tabernacle.

Before the temple we discover ourselves...Before the shrine we kneel.

Man thinks;  Woman dreams.

To think is to have in the brain, a larva... To Dream is to have, on the forehead, a halo.

Man is an ocean;  Woman is a lake.

The ocean has the pearl that adorns...The lake, the poetry that dazzles.

Man is the eagle flyiing; Woman is the nightingale singing.

Flying is dominating the space...Singing is to conquer the soul.

And finally, man is placed where the land ends...

And The Woman, where the sky begins...

https://youtu.be/i9GNO-YQNq4

Love is synthesis

Love is synthesis

Please ... do not analyze me.
Do not be looking for every weakness of mine.
If anyone resists to a thorough analysis, much less do I!
Jealous, demanding, insecure, needy ... all full of marks that life left me.
See in each requirement of mine, a grace cry, a call for love!
Love ... love is synthesis. A data integration, it is unnecessary to put something in or to take something off.
Do not cut me into slices (no one embraces a piece) ...
Wrap me all up in your arms,
And I'll be perfect, my love! ❤

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3pbEKl6TkI

She... The Passion

She just wants me to feel , to think, to breathe, that I dial those numbers once more, again, again...
The strangest of the strange is this true happiness I am living. This state of grace. The strange filled my stomach with colorful butterflies. Filled with sighs my soul. Filled me with surrender...
It's one of those joys of giving little hops and muttering joy in the most serious countenance... 
It's one of those joys so blessed by God that He is almost an accomplice of sporadic nonsense and lies...
It's one of those uncomfortable joys but that has the same face of hot bed and fluffy pillow...
She does not give a shit to me, and goes on  her beautiful red dancing on my chest. I miss the air, get my eyes wide open...
She does not give a shit to me, tingling every part of my body, turning my drawing in dotted... 
Later she urges me to call him to form my image, to make me exist...
She just smiles at me ironically and for mercy stays quiet for a few seconds... 
Then I can not stand myself and look for her... Strange for strange, denying a passion is much crazier than accept her within us...

We get used

We get used to... 

waking up in the morning, startled because it's time to drink coffee fast, because it is running late.

reading the news on the bus because we can not waste time on the trip.

eating sandwiches because we do not have time for a healthy meal.

walking the streets and see posters, opening the magazines and see ads, turning on the television and watch commercials.

struggling to make money, to earn less than we need and to pay more than the things are worth.

living in apartments funds and have no other view than the windows around.

not open all the curtains, and as we get used to it, forget the sun, air, spaciousness.

pollution, artificial light quiver, to shock the eyes lead with natural light.

the bacteria from drinking water, slow death of rivers, contamination of sea water.

war and violence, and accepting war and violence, we acceptn the growing number for the dead. And, accepting the numbers, you agree with no peaceful world.

We get used to all this not to suffer... We get used not to grate on the roughness to preserve the skin.

We get used to all this to save our own lives... Which gradually pass, and so much getting used to, it loses itself.

We get used to all this, I know... but we should not.

The advantages of being silly

The silly, for not minding with ambitions, has time to see, hear and touch the world. The silly is able to sit almost motionless for two hours. If asked why not do something, he replies: "I'm doing! I'm thinking.."

Being silly sometimes offers a "world" of outputs because the smart only remembers leaving through cunning, and the fool has originality, it comes spontaneously to his mind.

The silly has the opportunity to see things which the smart does not see. 
Smart people are always so attentive to others' cunning that they relax before the silly, and then the silly sees them as mere human beings. The silly gains utility and wisdom to live. The silly seems to have never had his turn. However, often the silly is a "Dostoyevsky."

There is a downside for being silly, of course. A silly, for example, relied on the word of a stranger to the purchase of a refrigerated air second hand: he said the device was new, almost unused and that he was selling it  because he had moved to a cooler place. Then the silly purchased the device without seeing it at all. Result: not working. Called a technician, the views of this was that the unit was so damaged that repair would be expensive: added value to buy another. 
But, on the other hand, the advantage of being silly is to have good faith, not to be suspicious, being so very quiet, while smart doe not sleep at night for fear of being cheated. Smart wins but with a stomach ulcer. The silly does not realize when he wins.

Warning: Do not confuse silly with donkey. 
Disadvantage: the silly can get a stab of those who he least expects. It is one of sadness that the silly does not provide. Caesar finished saying the famous words: "Even you, Brutus?"

Silly does not complain. On the other hand, he exclaims!

Silly, with all his antics, many of them must be in heaven.

The silly is always so friendly that there are some smarts who try to pose for silly. Being silly is a creativity and, as all creation it is difficult. That's why smart can not go through silly. Smart gains of others. In contrast silly makes a living. 

Blessed is the silly because he knows and the smart does not suspect. 
In fact the silly does not care to know if he knows...

Inevitable

Sometimes it is inevitable to miss someone and many of these times is not worth it. It's someone who has hurt us, someone who lied, that failed. 
He did what was not to be done or simply did not love us as we deserve to be loved... 
As it is inevitable to miss, it is also inevitable waste time with thoughts that should be very far apart. 
And that question in wonder even until thoughts will harass and take the peace to move forward without that feeling, feeling of missing...

Missing who makes us happy  hurts, imagine missing someone who deserves receiving nothing, much less this so good feeling of longing... 
Longing comes and hits us until we get tired, and when we get tired of being beaten  the scar comes and is effective,but while it does not heal, it hurts... It hurts to cry for the lost time, for the hurt we created in who really loves us, and the regret of having given in to this crazy love , having made all these blunders... 
I'm sure it would be better if I  had not met some kind of people, not gone to sites of relationships or to have answered emails or even have heard that charming voice... 
People feel happy to hurt, they hurt our heart smiling, make we cry and leave us and go away in a flash that makes us think we are the ultimate romantic, the last passionate person...

But now it's too late, all is gone and thankfully what remained was the learning. Mistakes are made once, but the second is stupid and this is a lesson, because no one has the right to come to us smiling and then go away leaving us crying and  breathless... 
No one can break a heart that always fought to stay whole, no one has the right to minimize our smile...

That's why I go on always smiling, and pray for who has made me cry one day. I ask God to pity this stupid and unfortunate person, ask God that his own love overflows reaching his '' being '' who does not even know what it is to love himself.

The only idiot

I write a paragraph and run to see if "you" are on.
And I write a line and run to see if you have texted a message to me...
Or I do not write anything and also do not run, just let you come here and sit by my side in my thought... And I find myself smiling, alone...
And I find myself not caring about all the rest...

But you know what happens in the meantime? 
While I do not move because I am overflowing you from my heart and moving weighs too much?
The world lives. The world turns. Important people sign contracts, earn money. And simple people fighting for a place in a bus, a place in the world. They are all struggling for a better life. They are all doing something more important and more mature than sigh like an idiot and just thinking about you...

I'm very envious of these wonderful, concious people,
evolved and smart who can separate the time to go to a meeting with friends from the time to wish to meet someone who exists only in my dreams... 
May come the time for me to prefer receiving a warm hug of somebody who loves me than wishing crazily to hug someone heartless... my longing...
May come the time for me to prefer to look for the word "gloomy" in the dictionary than to be always getting lost in your untrue loving and caring words that never comes out of my mind...
May the time come for me to be entire and the time to pick up my pieces around the world and not waiting for you to send me dismembered signals anymore...

I can not do the right things...
I get confused, mix all, and mess everyhing...

My only question is if I'm the only idiot to do this to me or if... 
I'm the only idiot to admit that I do this to myself...

You

My deepest will now is to disappear ... 
To forget you ... To hide myself ...
But at the same time I want to meet you, to kiss you and tell you how much I love you and that you are too important in my life for me to leave ...
I also want to shake you and say that you're a sucker for letting me go and losing me like that ...
But my greatest desire is to forget you ... To delete you from my life ... I know I will never have you...
At the same time, I remember you every morning ... Thinking of you, listening to your voice makes me sleep so better ...
Then I realize: IT'S ME!!! My desires are too bipolar. The only thing that is not bipolar is my deep desire to have you by my side ... To listen to your voice...
To see your true face...
Yes ... I chose you ... among some who wants me, I chose you. You are the one...
You, who never wanted me... who never loved me... But...That's life...
If they gave me the chance to have one last request, I would choose you ...
If life were to end today or a thousand years from now...  I would choose you ...
But this game is so tiring... And I am exhausted...

He knows

Hey, you fool, can you not look at me with devotion, especially because I'm here almost overwhelmed without your presence? 
No, I can not say that... 

Hey, old man, can you please hold me as if we're falling off a bridge because I'm here without ground without your presence? 
No, I can not say that...

Hey, garbage monster, can you kiss me as a final movie kiss because I'm here without saliva, no air, no life without your presence? 
Definitely not... better not say that...

Love can not be asked... It's a pitty...
It's sad to love this much and so much love not be useful. So much love trying to make him happy...
But love, you know, love is not asked. 
Love declares... 
But do you know what? He knows.. he knows...

Today

He's not just a guy ..
And this guy yes, warms my hands and listen to my insults and wisecracks with the same attachment. He has not left me to rot there where I could not bother. It is different from all that is wrong in my world and other worlds.
I could  say that he saved my life if it did not sound so dramatic. 
He does not make plans or promises, only surprises, taught me to like surprises. He is different. He's not just a guy.
He hears me as if he understands me, speaks as one who knows what to say and does not say anything often, because he understands the silences... He exists... 
I know we would be good friends, good partners, good enemies, but I prefer to be his woman...
And I know that we will be important in the history of each other forever, regardless of whatever is going to happen. Because he is not just a guy... 
I do not want just a guy... 
And he's everything I want... today...

Invented love

Here I am in another table with laughter in half... Look to my side and I feel an immense longing, crazy, helpless and even cynical... 
Longing for something... or someone, I do not know... 
Maybe longing for me, for some true love that lasted a second ... 
My friends love me. But do they know that I'm dying of laughing now, but soon I am going to die of crying? It always happens...
And I, again, look to the side dying of longing for this thing I do not know what is. This thing that may be love...
I hate all cheap loves, loves that don't last, and "no loves" that I invented just to skip a week without pain... 
Each week without pain that pass, I seem to accumulate a lifetime of pain... 
I need to stop, to wait... But loneliness hurts and I go on inventing characters... 
I hate my weakness in deceiving me. I invent love, yes,  and it hurts to admit it. But it is because I can not stand not putting a face to my longing... 
It's all in half, but at least my fantasy is full... while it lasts... 
In the rough, dry and quiet end is always the same... I here, wanting to cry, wanting to lie about life just to believe in it... 
Then I lie down and think of pretty little things, listening to music... 
And before I can realize, I fall asleep...

Tati Bernardi

Perfection

I'll hold your hand as if to hold the hand of someone who is hung on a rut ... and follow you for days, weeks, months trying to touch your heart until one day I can, but in any way hold you back, though fear of losing you, and never limit you, but cry when you decide to leave ... 
And I will wait your changes naturally without forcing you...
I will steal a thousand of kisses of you when you decide to have some fit of anger, try to calm you down and be unable to cause any suffering to you ...
And I will say that you sing bad but as well I will sing with you, thus proving that there are people who sing horribly, and you're not the only one, but I would be willing to listen ... 
And when you decide to talk too much, I will lean your head on my shoulder and hear everything you have to say ... 
And when we both stumble may we have breath enough not to die of laughing ...
And may you feel you need me, but not only when you need support, but that you feel it even having spent a whole day with me, that you do not see and do not feel the time passing when you are next to me, and that time is never enough when we spend it together...
And may you bear my faults and feel proud of my qualities, and although I do not have an extreme beauty, may I have the power to get you to see that liking someone goes far beyond physical beauty, and also try to somehow (unfortunately only try to) make you to not look in other directions, because your eyes will be always inside mine ... 
May I always find you, wherever you are, and may I be your perfection, even being imperfect...

Go on insisting

I don't know why I keep coming home wanting to be of someone, even being so close to him... 
I'll never understand why even he being exactly what I want and I being exactly what he wants, our accuracies do not work in an account to add...
But then, in a few days .... he will call me, wanting to take that coffee... we both wanting to hide us as always, willing to love each other just while we can not popularize this love...  
And I'll accept... 
Not because I am an idiot, or because I do not give any value to myself or even because I have nothing better to do. It is not that! This is not true...
It's just because he reminds me the mysteries of life... 
Simply because that's how we do with our own existence: we do not understand anything, but we go on insisting...

Just wondering...

My will is that he asks me if I want some beer and if I would like to see one of his films stretched in his large pillows...
Once again I wonder how we can make the deepest thing in the world with complete superficiality. 
How do you love without love? How is the delivery from inside a prison? I never knew...
It's still too soon and I need love. Just a little bit of love...
I want him to see how much I have changed because of him, in the hope that his frozen laughter comes off automatic and I win a single genuine smile...

Perhaps my love has learned to be less love just to never stop being love...

The fight

May we someday be able to say: The war is over!!!
Finally, peace in the world... 
But while refugees will be preparing to return to their homes, some others will still be vying for the title of winner of the war, as if it had been only a football match. No one will have scored goal in this insane battle, there will be  nothing to celebrate, but a lesson will be left by the episode: the damage that the lack of aim can cause...

In the war of the day-to-day is no different: aim is the key. We have been discouraged, we think that life has no emotion and that in our house no one understands us. We go out to enjoy the night, and then, we meet some guys in a race of motorcycle, some painting graffiti on the walls, some destroying telephone booths and they seem to enjoy themselves so much... We join the group. Fatal error: we have just allied to the enemy...

You are in search of an employment. It seems that not you but you and all the "rest of the world". For such a miracle of life, there are two opportunities to work. One is a stage within the field you want to work in the future. It is to work alongside good professionals, but winning only one allowance. And you will have to work hard. The other proposal is to win three salaries on the payroll, but a branch that does not give you a little chance for professional growth, a place where you will be just a cog in the wheel, easily replaceable. Think about it: you just have one bullet in the needle...

You are more vulnerable than an abandoned bride at the altar. Alone for one year and a half, you have been cuddling with a pillow! 
Then someone comes up... the guy who talks a blue streak, about his own car, his own team, his very amorous adventures, about his own navel... He is not your type, but he is the only one who appeared. You shall take a ride on his ego or stay for some more time alone?...

Marksmanship makes all the difference. Sometimes a target is closer than others and it seems to make things easier. Sometimes a person looks cool but is a camouflage. Sometimes someone moves towards us and before hearing him we shoot him down. Living is having to fight a little bit every day for our happiness. Nobody gets away unharmed with this fight, but it hurts less for who has good sense, diplomacy notions and, especially wisdom, to distinguish the time of attacking and the time to defend himself...

Martha Medeiros