Sex... Love... here they come again...

Two women talking:

The first one, single and lyrical, says: 

- Sex and love are the samething ... 

The other one, married and practical, replies: 

- No! They are not the samething ... 

Yes, no, yes, no... a fresh controversy was born to the seaside... Love... sex... 

I began asking friends and friends, but nobody knows exactly. We just know that the two categories fuck, tending sometimes to hypocrisy or cynicism...

No one knows what came first: the chicken or the egg... 

I realize that the most subtle one defends love, as something "higher". For the most practical, sex is the only concrete thing. 

So, here you have my own opinion about this issue:

Love has a garden, a fence, a project... 

Sex invades all. Sex is against the law... 

Love depends on our desire, it is a building we have constructed... 

Sex does not depend on our desire... Our desire is that is taken by it. Nobody masturbates for love... Nobody suffers of horny... Sex is a wish to appease love. Love is a kind of retrospective gratitude for the pleasures of sex... 

Love comes after...  sex comes before... 

In love, we lose the head deliberately. 

In sex, our head loses us... 

Love needs thought... 

In sex, the thought disturbs... only the fantasies help. 

Love dreams of a great redemption... 

Sex thinks only about bans...

Love is a desire to achieve completeness, plenitude... 

Sex is a desire to get satisfaction with finitude...

Love lives of impossibility always sliding forward... 

Sex is a desire to end the impossibility... 

Love can hinder sex. But the contrary does not happen... 

There is love without sex, of course, but will never enjoy together... 

Love is ownership... 

Sex is possession... 

Love is home... 

Sex is home invasion for robbery... 

Love is narcissistic, even when it speaks about "donation"... 

Sex is more democratic, even living in selfishness... Love can be medicine or poison... Sex too - all depending on the positions adopted... 

Love is a text...

Sex is a sport... 

Love does not require the presence of the "other"...

Sex at least needs a "helping hand"... 

There are certain "loves" that not even  need a partner, can flourish alone, for loneliness and for madness... Sex, no - it's more realistic... 

In this sense, love is a pursuit of illusion... 

Sex is a brute will to truth... 

Love comes from within, sex comes from outside... Love comes to us and delays... 

Sex comes from others and goes away... 

Love is blues tunes... 

Sex is rock and roll...

We are not victims of love, just of sex... 

Love, if not eternal, it was not love... 

Love invented the soul, the eternity, the language, the morality...

Love has something of ridiculous, pathetic, especially in large passions... 

Sex is quieter, like a cowboy - when his bravery goes away, he comes and eats... 

People say: "Make love, not war", but sex wants

war!!!... 

Hate kills love, but hate can turn sex on... 

Love is selfish... Sex is selfless... 

Love wants to overcome death... 

In sex, death is there, ready to come ... 

Love speaks a lot, but softly, gently, and can not explain itself... 

Sex screams, groans, roars, but does not explain itself either... 

Sex has always existed - since the caves of paradise , up to the relax saunas for men. 

On the other hand, love was invented by provincial poets of the twelfth century and then revived by the American cinema... 

Love is prose...  Sex is poetry... 

Love is woman... Sex is man...  

Love seeks a certain "greatness." Sex dreams with the "lower" parts..

The danger of sex is that we can fall in love...

The danger of love is that it can turn into friendship... 

With condoms, safe sex there... 

But no condom for love. Love dreams of purity...

Sex needs sin... 

Love is the dream of single ones... Sex is the dream of married ones... 

Sex needs novelty, surprise... 

"The great love is felt only with jealousy" (Proust).

Sex and love are even trying together to get away from death... Or not... But... 

Does it matter?

parts of the chronic by:

Arnaldo Jabor

I raffle a heart

I raffle a nearly new heart... 
An idealistic heart. A heart like few others. 
An old-fashioned heart... 
A heart kid who insists on playing pranks on its user... 
I raffle a heart which in reality is a bit worn, a bit calloused, very hurt and that insists on feeding dreams and cultivate illusions... 
Somewhat inconsequential that never gives up believing in people... 
A skittish and precipitate heart that thinks Tim Maia(a brazilian singer) was right when he used to sing:"I do not want money, I want sincere love, that's what I hope" 
An idealist heart... A true dreamer heart... 
I raffle a heart that never learns. That does not harden, and always keeps alive the hope of being happy, being simple and natural. A foolish heart that drives rational, being crazy enough to fall in love... 
A  furious suicide that lives looking for relationships and real emotions... 
I raffle a heart that always insists on making the same mistakes, that fights, and is exposed all the time. That loses its mind completely on behalf of causes and passions. Exits serious and sometimes revise its positions, repentant words and gestures... This heart so often misunderstood. Often provoked. Often impulsive... 
I raffle this emotional unbalanced heart that opens smiles so wide that almost gives the ears to swallow, but that also kicks off tears and makes my face wither... 
A heart to be rented, or used by those who like strong emotions... 
A crazy organ suitable only for those who want to live intensely and contraindicated for those who simply want to go through life, killing time, defending themselves from emotions... 
I raffle such an innocent heart that shows no armor and lets its user deeply mad... 
When this heart stops beating it will hear  its user to say there in the sky on the time of reckoning: "You can check my Lord, I did everything right, I only did wrong when I put sentiment, when I heard this crazy and frolic heart  that insists on not harden and refuses to grow old. 
I raffle a heart, or even trade it with one that has a little more sense. A heart more faithful to its user. 
A heart that does not mistreat its host. 
A heart that is not so inconsequential... 
I raffle a blind, deaf and dumb heart, but that bothers a lot. 
A true hunter of adventures that has not yet been adopted, probably for refusing to cultivate wild airs or rational for not wanting to miss style... 
I raffle a bum heart, no race, no pedigree. A simple human heart... 
A heart of impulsive behavior, and  a bit exceeded,  a flawed model, even being out of the market, makes it a point not to modernize, and occasionally,constrains the body that dominates... 
I raffle an old heart that convinces its user to publish her secrets and her most sacred feelings...

Clarice Lispector

Living and learning...

What have I learned by living?...

To say goodbye to people I love, without removing them from my heart... 

Smiling at people who do not like me, to show them that I'm different from what they think...

Pretending that everything is alright, when it is not true, so I can believe that everything will change... 

To Shut up to listen... 
Learn from my mistakes but also from the mistakes of others... After all I can always try to be better... 

To fight against injustice... 
To smile when what I most desire is yelling all my sorrows to the world... 

To be strong when your beloved ones are in trouble... 

To be affectionate with everyone who needs my tenderness... 

Listening to everybody that just need to unburden... 

To understand those who hurt me or want me just to deposit their frustration and disaffection... 

Forgiving unconditionally  because we all will need forgiveness someday... 

Loving unconditionally, because I also need to be loved... everybody does... 

The cheer to those in need... 

To ask for forgiveness... 

Dreaming woken up... 

To wake up to reality (whenever necessary)... 

To enjoy every moment of joy and happiness... 

To be shameless to cry for longing... 

To have eyes to "see and hear stars". although not always being able to understand them... 

To realize the charm of the sunset... 

To feel the pain of a goodbye and of what is over, always fighting to preserve all that is important for the happiness of my being... 

To open my windows for love... 

Not to fear the future... 

Taught me and is still teaching me to enjoy the present, as a gift she gave me, and to be conscious to use it like a diamond that I  have to  lapidate, giving its shape the way I choose.

Whoever 4ever...

I was wondering...

Is there anywhere in this world, as a rehab for broken hearts? 

I not even know what feeling this is anymore. It can not be love or passion. But it's something that doesn't let me stop thinking about him even for a second... 

Have you ever woken up with a song in your mind, that lasts all day long even if you try to sing other songs...but the same song is there "tormenting you" even being the song you most like, it torments you...

That's how I feel about him...It begins to be a torment!!!

I think it's an obsession. And the definition for obsession in this case is: "A Compulsive preoccupation. A state in which someone thinks about someone or something constantly or frequently, especially in a way that is not normal". That' s me !!! Obsession is me!!!

Yes I think I can find lots of rehabs for obesession...

I wish I could get away. To go somewhere longing(saudade) could not find me, pain could never hit me and memories would not make any difference in my life...  

But...life goes on. 

A new step begins in my life: Two independent kids, my mother in law does not live with me anymore, she is  in a residence for seniors with Alzheimer disease... I am home alone. 

I am alone...But I am not lonely... I have  somebody. Somebody who knows all about me. About my feelings, my blog, my friends on g+, my obsessions... and even though he wants me by his side. Maybe he is obsessed too...(smile).  

We decided not to live together, in the same house.   We just share love, friendship, joy and even sadness and pains... That is enough for me. And for him too. I can not say I am deeply passionate for him. But I like him very much and in a very special way. 
He treats me in a very kind and loving way...

But... 

How about "Whoever 4ever?" Unfortunatelly he goes on stuck on my heart... How is it? Why??? I wish it could be easy to explain. With answers we can at least try to solve the problem, the torment...

Of course I am not in despair anymore. After we stopped talking I missed him so badly that anything that made me remember him (and everything did) also made me cry...

It was such an endless wish of justing listening to his voice... But after almost one year not having news about him my heart got quieter. But if it didn't, instead of calling this feeling an obsession, we could call it: " a total madness!!!" 

And besides, lately I have read a lot about "Romance Scam". Yes because, as some people who read my History "The Scammer I Love" know he is a scammer. That he tried to take my money with lots of lies and promises of eternal life together and so on...

Definition for "Romance Scam": "It's a confidence trick involving feigned romantic intentions towards a victm, gaining her affection, and then using that goodwill to commit fraud."  

Of course since the beginning I felt something wrong in this history. I am not a fool! But he was the best. He is not an idiot as some other scammers who also came to talk to me. He is polite, intelligent and caring... The others try to be but they don't convince. I think he had an intense coaching because he is really the best. He writes and speaks good English while the others don't. 

But... Although all his "virtues" in his dirty job he did not take the money he wanted from me. But he broke my heart and stayed here stuck 4ever... 

But "Whoever" will be always whoever, because he has not a face. Even the face I was sure I had seen on Skype may not be his.  There are pics of "him" everywhere in internet as stolen pics of a businessman from Canada.

People say that the scammers can see you live but I read that what you see on the video is not live. It's a recorded video they send at the same time. Is it possible? I don't know, and it doesn't matter anymore... What I know is that I don't videochat anymore. I like to talk to people all over the world to exchange ideas and different cultures. But video chat not anymore... Besides scammers I met also "crazy" guys all around!!!

People say scammers work in a way to make any mind so confused that the victim can not be sure about anything.

But "Whoever" has a voice... A voice I heard so many times on the phone... But  nowadays I am not even so sure if the "voices" were always of the same person. I have all our phone talks recorded. And they seem to be of the same person. In one of the phone calls, the longest one, of about 30 minutes, he was feeling very bad. He was having  asthma attacks.

And I can not forget that voice. That voice so strong and so sweet at the same time...

That voice that got me. On that day he was so fragile, not being able even to breathe good, as if he was asking me to take care of him. And all I wished on that moment was being by his side, to caress him, to take hold of him, to take care of him, to give him my own oxygen, because he was my beloved baby there, all alone feeling so bad... At least that was what I thought that day...

For me it doesn't matter if he is a white, a black or an any color man. If he is tall or not, fat or thin. It doesn't matter even if he is a scammer. Of course I am sure this relationship would never work for us, specially because the one who had feelings in this issue, was me for him. And besides I would never live with a criminal...

My heart is quiet about that. 

My good and bad memories with this man will never die. But those memories became just dreams. Strange as it may seem, all I still wish is being able to hear that voice again and its real owner even for a second...Even if he told me to stop talking about him, to finish all this history and forget him once and for all...

It doesn't matter whoever is the owner of this voice in the video below...

What matters is that I feel that his voice will be inexplicably stuck on my mind, heart, body and soul...4EVER...
So... He will be kept here into my heart. He has behaved himself for all the time, at least with me. I don't know how many hearts he has broken after  me but I am sure he did many because he is good in his "job".
I have been the naughty one here always talking about him...
But I... promise... promise? Not to talk about him anymore... This is the last text about him...Really???
                        I mean... I will try...  

    

http://youtu.be/8BYpwnmQtIw?list=UUY13kSgluWG8BydxKd8VZhw

Love is everywhere...

You are alone. You and all the fans of Flamengo Footbal Club. Don't be fooled, there are lots of people alone.
You are in front of the TV, and you devour two packages of Donuts while waiting for the phone to ring. 
Well... it could be today, it could be right now... a brand new love affair... 

Trimmm! It's your mother!... Who else could it be? Love makes no calls by telepathy. Love does not meet by appointment. It can come sooner than you expected and can find you unwilling to serious relationships. It may be right there by your side and you not even care. Or it may come too late and find you disillusioned, suspicious, full of dark circles in your thoughts... 
Then Love turns around and goes away. 
Why love never arrives on the right  time? 

Love appears when least expected and where you least imagine. You spend one whole party hypnotized by someone who neither sees you, and barely notices someone else who only has eyes for you!!! 
Today you feel devastated because you did not go to the beach this weekend. Your friends are there enjoying the sun and flerting with nice guys. You feel like  one ET in a big city. You seek refuge in a video store without foreseeing that even there, in the video store, you could find the person who would give meaning to your life... 
Love is like a nail scissors... It is never where we think it is... 

The only way is to direct the radar to the north, south, east and west. Your love can be in the aisle in a supermarket, can be impatient in line at a bank, choosing books in a bookstore, humming a song alone in his car stopped at a traffic light. Can be right here at the computer... but be careful!!! There are lots of "romance scammers" in internet too! 
Love is everywhere, you are not looking right. 

The first lesson is given: love is everywhere. 
Now the second: but is unpredictable. 
Do not expect to hear "I love you" at a dinner by candlelight, on Valentine's Day. Or receiving flowers after you make love for the first time with him. 
Love hates clichés... be careful again! Scammers "love clichés" not love you... 
You may suddenly hear "I love you" on a Tuesday, at four o'clock, after an argument, and the flowers will arrive on the day you get a driver's license, after approval of the beacon test.
You have just to understand and accept that:
Idealize is suffering.
And Love...Love is surprising... 

http://youtu.be/foL1GE4VaJY

Martha Medeiros

The Strip-Tease...

She arrived at his apartment at around six in the evening and felt a nervousness out of the ordinary. Before entering, she thought once more what she was going to do. It would be her first time. 
She had already gnawed fingernails of both hands, but could not go back. She rang the doorbell and on the other side of the door, he took no more than two seconds to answer. He was anxious to know what she wanted to talk to him.

He asked if she wanted a drink. She did not. 
He asked if she wanted to sit down. She refused. 
He asked what he could do for her. 
The answer: no foreplay... I want you to listen to me... simply. 

Then she began "to undress" as she had never done before. 

And then she began to undress her heart:
"I have said that you do not interest me much, but it's not true You're the most special person I have ever met... Not for being beautiful or because you think like I do about so many things, but for something bigger... and deeper than your good look and the affinity we match.  
Being my true me is what matters at least at the moment, to say what I feel. "

Then she got rid of her arrogance: 
"I do not know how I got legs to come to your house, I thought I would not dare. But now I'm here and I need you to know that:
Every song that plays you are with me listening to it... 
I share with you every word I read... 
Every moment of wonder I feel it as if you were by my side... 
You are ingrained in who I am, you have become part of my story. "

All her modesty was being undone: 
"I kiss mirrors, I hug cushions , caress myself with you in my mind. And even when the things I do are less important, such as reading a magazine or washing a stocking, I do it  in your companionship ". 

She withdrew fear: 
"I am no better or worse than anyone else, I'm just someone who is learning to deal with love. I feel that it is real. I feel it is strong and I feel that love is what we all seek and hope to find". 

Finally, the last piece fell, leaving her soul completely naked: 
"I want to live with you, but that's not why I came here.  The intention is only to let you know that I love you and I wish you think about it. 
I know love is not something you shuttle immediately, just to be kind. 
If you ever love me in the same way I love you, let me know and I'll come back and we will resume where it was left off... Because we stop here. "

And then she left the apartment feeling more womanly than ever. 

Martha Medeiros

Me: how to use

You can invade or come gently, but not so slowly that make me sleep... 
Do not yell at me, I have a bad habit of retaliating... I wake up in the  morning in a great mood ... but let me stretch first... 
Then you can touch me and caress me, especially in the hair, and lie about my knockout beauty... 
Have your own life, make me miss you badly when you are not by my side... 
Tell a few things that make me laugh, but do not tell me bad jokes and do not be judgmental... 
Travel before meeting me, suffer before meeting me so you will recognize me as a safe harbor... 
I go into account, you will not spend a lot to me... Believe the truths I say and also the lies, because the lies  are very rare and always for a good cause... 
Respect my crying, leave me alone, just come back when I call you, but do not always obey me... I also like being contradicted, so... stay with me when I cry... deal? 
Be stronger than me and less altruistic... 
Do not dress so well, I like shirt untucked... 
I like arms, legs, and what I most like is the neck...  
I will  awe all the things on you which are my  taste: mouth, lips, smile, eyes, your glance and a skinned knee, you have to flay sometimes even at your age... Read, choose your own books, reread them... 
Hate domestic life and also the exciting night life. Be a little homey and a bit of life, not  nightclubs 'cause that's something that makes people sad... 
Do not be a slave to television, nor totally against... Nor my slave, nor my son, nor my father... 
Choose a character for you that has not  been invented yet and invent some other once in a while... 
Make me crazy sometimes but make me a crazy good...
Like music and sex... 
Play a sport not very banal...
Let me drive your car that you love so much...
I want sometimes to see you nervous, restless, looking at other women, making friends and meeting them to say nonsense together... 
Do not tell me your secrets 'cause I will never tell you mine... 
Do not smoke, but drink sometimes, cry, laugh... Elect some misdemeanors.... Kidnap me! 

If all this fails ... just love me!

Martha Medeiros