Perfection

I'll hold your hand as if to hold the hand of someone who is hung on a rut ... and follow you for days, weeks, months trying to touch your heart until one day I can, but in any way hold you back, though fear of losing you, and never limit you, but cry when you decide to leave ... 
And I will wait your changes naturally without forcing you...
I will steal a thousand of kisses of you when you decide to have some fit of anger, try to calm you down and be unable to cause any suffering to you ...
And I will say that you sing bad but as well I will sing with you, thus proving that there are people who sing horribly, and you're not the only one, but I would be willing to listen ... 
And when you decide to talk too much, I will lean your head on my shoulder and hear everything you have to say ... 
And when we both stumble may we have breath enough not to die of laughing ...
And may you feel you need me, but not only when you need support, but that you feel it even having spent a whole day with me, that you do not see and do not feel the time passing when you are next to me, and that time is never enough when we spend it together...
And may you bear my faults and feel proud of my qualities, and although I do not have an extreme beauty, may I have the power to get you to see that liking someone goes far beyond physical beauty, and also try to somehow (unfortunately only try to) make you to not look in other directions, because your eyes will be always inside mine ... 
May I always find you, wherever you are, and may I be your perfection, even being imperfect...

Go on insisting

I don't know why I keep coming home wanting to be of someone, even being so close to him... 
I'll never understand why even he being exactly what I want and I being exactly what he wants, our accuracies do not work in an account to add...
But then, in a few days .... he will call me, wanting to take that coffee... we both wanting to hide us as always, willing to love each other just while we can not popularize this love...  
And I'll accept... 
Not because I am an idiot, or because I do not give any value to myself or even because I have nothing better to do. It is not that! This is not true...
It's just because he reminds me the mysteries of life... 
Simply because that's how we do with our own existence: we do not understand anything, but we go on insisting...

Just wondering...

My will is that he asks me if I want some beer and if I would like to see one of his films stretched in his large pillows...
Once again I wonder how we can make the deepest thing in the world with complete superficiality. 
How do you love without love? How is the delivery from inside a prison? I never knew...
It's still too soon and I need love. Just a little bit of love...
I want him to see how much I have changed because of him, in the hope that his frozen laughter comes off automatic and I win a single genuine smile...

Perhaps my love has learned to be less love just to never stop being love...

The fight

May we someday be able to say: The war is over!!!
Finally, peace in the world... 
But while refugees will be preparing to return to their homes, some others will still be vying for the title of winner of the war, as if it had been only a football match. No one will have scored goal in this insane battle, there will be  nothing to celebrate, but a lesson will be left by the episode: the damage that the lack of aim can cause...

In the war of the day-to-day is no different: aim is the key. We have been discouraged, we think that life has no emotion and that in our house no one understands us. We go out to enjoy the night, and then, we meet some guys in a race of motorcycle, some painting graffiti on the walls, some destroying telephone booths and they seem to enjoy themselves so much... We join the group. Fatal error: we have just allied to the enemy...

You are in search of an employment. It seems that not you but you and all the "rest of the world". For such a miracle of life, there are two opportunities to work. One is a stage within the field you want to work in the future. It is to work alongside good professionals, but winning only one allowance. And you will have to work hard. The other proposal is to win three salaries on the payroll, but a branch that does not give you a little chance for professional growth, a place where you will be just a cog in the wheel, easily replaceable. Think about it: you just have one bullet in the needle...

You are more vulnerable than an abandoned bride at the altar. Alone for one year and a half, you have been cuddling with a pillow! 
Then someone comes up... the guy who talks a blue streak, about his own car, his own team, his very amorous adventures, about his own navel... He is not your type, but he is the only one who appeared. You shall take a ride on his ego or stay for some more time alone?...

Marksmanship makes all the difference. Sometimes a target is closer than others and it seems to make things easier. Sometimes a person looks cool but is a camouflage. Sometimes someone moves towards us and before hearing him we shoot him down. Living is having to fight a little bit every day for our happiness. Nobody gets away unharmed with this fight, but it hurts less for who has good sense, diplomacy notions and, especially wisdom, to distinguish the time of attacking and the time to defend himself...

Martha Medeiros

Touch

I am composed of emergency:
my joys are intense;
my sorrows are absolute.
I clog myself of absences,
I empty myself of excesses.
I do not fit in the narrow,
I just live in the extremes.

Little does not suit me,
Average does not satisfy me,
And halves have never been my fave ones!

All the big and the small moments,
I made them with love and affection,
and they are eternal memories for me.
Words win me temporarily ...
But attitudes lose me or earn me forever.

I suppose that understanding me
is not a matter of intelligence,
but of feeling...of getting in touch...
You have the choice: or you touch me or you don't... and leave.....

I give up...

Today I woke up sad, very sad... and tired...

Tired of everything... Tired of being myself, tired of being nothing...

What kind of life is that? All we see is people wanting to take advantage of people. People cheating people. People killing people...

My country, the country I was born is now the champion in corruption!!! Lots of business men and men of the government going to jail! So much dirtness... And then the people also wanting to take adavantage in everything. The general thought is: "If the government and the rich men can do that why I can not"?... what a shame!!!

In the networks all we see are fake people, scammers, old men posting boobs and butts as if they were expert in the issue. Poor lonely old men trying to fill their lonely hearts with some futile pleasure. We see also old women showing their fallen bodies in "sexy" poses like whores, trying to get a man to support them. A man complaining that he was cheated by a woman who posted a beautiful pic and in the end he discovered she was an old, ugly, short and fat lady!!! Come on!!! A mature man falling in love with a photo??? And the false photo is of a woman much younger than him!!! Sorry but for sure he wanted to be cheated... Some people like to be cheated!!! That's why the scammers are so successful... 

If we hangout some madcap guys want to "eat" us. I have even "won" a pic of a penis sometime ago!!! What do I do with a pic of a penis??? OMG I am a doctor! I have seen lots of sick nude men and dicks like that are just a piece of meat for me. Of course the guy was properly blocked... I don't want to hangout anymore... And I don't.

We can see also young girls in sexy photos trying to get a "space" in this dirty world to become the sexiest girl on earth. Some so young, exposing their bodies as if they were so available. Just one more to be tasted and then thrown away...This is sad... This is disgusting!!! I am not prejudiced. I was born and live in a modern and free country,  and I am open minded, but the values are changing too fast, but
everything in life must have a limit....
I am really getting old... I think it's time to retire from this crazy life.

I am so tired of being a human being...
Sometimes I feel ashamed of being human... 
Why were I not born as a horse... or as a black panther? Animals are so much caring... and loyal...

Why did God send me to this crazy world? What are we human beings? What am I??? Nothing...absolutely nothing...
But even though I thank God for having an amazing family and amazing friends too... 

When I was young my grandma used to say that happiness doesn’t exist. What exist are just some few moments of joy. I got so angry with her. How did she dare to say that? I was so happy!!! Yes... I was happy... But I could not imagine how right she was. I had no idea of what life had prepared to me... the surprises it would give to me. And they were tough surprises...

But I did my best, and was able to overcome almost everything but... what about the scars? They stay here stuck into our heart and the strongest we try to be, some events in life make we fall... And we try and try and try to stand up... and go on... And I did... many times...

But  there comes a time that we realize that some things are such big lies... we make characters to ourselves... always smiling... always pretending to be happy all the time... and almost all the time people don't respect our feelings...

I don’t want to play this game anymore... I don't want to witness all that shit...

And besides I want to feel my pain, I want to suffer in peace, I want to cry all the tears I have inside me, I want to hate, to scream... I don't want to pretend anymore...I want to die of love!!! Alone and with myself, because I still love my "longing"... 
Yes... I want to die... But not for my life...not at all!!!
I want to die for all that shit happening in g+, in my country and in the world...

I give up... once and for all...

I make-believe...

I do not answer your emails, and when I reply I am harsh, distant, I remain oblivious: I make-believe I hate you...

I fill you with kind words, I don't save praises. I get surprised with so much affection that I can invent, I am an actress, I am in the business: I make-believe that I love you...

I'm always looking at the clock, always praising the plans I had and what others boycotted, always complaining that others do it wrong: I make-believe that only I do the job right...

I make fun of some parties and of the glamorous clothes. I do not understand how some people can sleep late every night, permanent guests to ballads in the VIP area of ​​hell: I make-believe I do not want...

I cry even watching the television news. I regret the pain of others and in sleepless nights I stay trying to understand corruptions, negligence, cheatings and all that shows me how much my vote was wasted: I make-believe that I care...

I throw a leg up high, the other to the side, show a face hot and sexy, straight hair on the face, I writhe , moan, whisper, shout and can: I make-believe that I come...

I say that I  forgive, I offer coffee, remember the good times, I say that the bad things stayed in the past and that I no longer remember anything. Mature people know that every heartache is dead weight: I make-believe that I do not suffer...

I quote Aristotle and Plato, I applaud irons twisted in art galleries, read concrete poetry, buy abstract canvases, I am fascinated with techno arrangement for a classical music and watch without subtitles the latest Romanian film: I make-believe I understand...

I have all the ingredients for an unforgettable sandwich, the refrigerator door is full of tele-delivery magnets, I keep a reasonably stocked bar, a little salt and pepper in the pantry and the stove is eight years old but seems brand new: I make-believe I know to cook...

Welcome to the world of fantasy!! What is your character? I can be a ghost who walks through walls, be a dwarf or a giant. I can be a prodigy that decorated the text so well, the naive child who trusted the witch, a sex symbol waiting for my cowboy: I make-believe that it does not hurt...