I give up...

Today I woke up sad, very sad... and tired...

Tired of everything... Tired of being myself, tired of being nothing...

What kind of life is that? All we see is people wanting to take advantage of people. People cheating people. People killing people...

My country, the country I was born is now the champion in corruption!!! Lots of business men and men of the government going to jail! So much dirtness... And then the people also wanting to take adavantage in everything. The general thought is: "If the government and the rich men can do that why I can not"?... what a shame!!!

In the networks all we see are fake people, scammers, old men posting boobs and butts as if they were expert in the issue. Poor lonely old men trying to fill their lonely hearts with some futile pleasure. We see also old women showing their fallen bodies in "sexy" poses like whores, trying to get a man to support them. A man complaining that he was cheated by a woman who posted a beautiful pic and in the end he discovered she was an old, ugly, short and fat lady!!! Come on!!! A mature man falling in love with a photo??? And the false photo is of a woman much younger than him!!! Sorry but for sure he wanted to be cheated... Some people like to be cheated!!! That's why the scammers are so successful... 

If we hangout some madcap guys want to "eat" us. I have even "won" a pic of a penis sometime ago!!! What do I do with a pic of a penis??? OMG I am a doctor! I have seen lots of sick nude men and dicks like that are just a piece of meat for me. Of course the guy was properly blocked... I don't want to hangout anymore... And I don't.

We can see also young girls in sexy photos trying to get a "space" in this dirty world to become the sexiest girl on earth. Some so young, exposing their bodies as if they were so available. Just one more to be tasted and then thrown away...This is sad... This is disgusting!!! I am not prejudiced. I was born and live in a modern and free country,  and I am open minded, but the values are changing too fast, but
everything in life must have a limit....
I am really getting old... I think it's time to retire from this crazy life.

I am so tired of being a human being...
Sometimes I feel ashamed of being human... 
Why were I not born as a horse... or as a black panther? Animals are so much caring... and loyal...

Why did God send me to this crazy world? What are we human beings? What am I??? Nothing...absolutely nothing...
But even though I thank God for having an amazing family and amazing friends too... 

When I was young my grandma used to say that happiness doesn’t exist. What exist are just some few moments of joy. I got so angry with her. How did she dare to say that? I was so happy!!! Yes... I was happy... But I could not imagine how right she was. I had no idea of what life had prepared to me... the surprises it would give to me. And they were tough surprises...

But I did my best, and was able to overcome almost everything but... what about the scars? They stay here stuck into our heart and the strongest we try to be, some events in life make we fall... And we try and try and try to stand up... and go on... And I did... many times...

But  there comes a time that we realize that some things are such big lies... we make characters to ourselves... always smiling... always pretending to be happy all the time... and almost all the time people don't respect our feelings...

I don’t want to play this game anymore... I don't want to witness all that shit...

And besides I want to feel my pain, I want to suffer in peace, I want to cry all the tears I have inside me, I want to hate, to scream... I don't want to pretend anymore...I want to die of love!!! Alone and with myself, because I still love my "longing"... 
Yes... I want to die... But not for my life...not at all!!!
I want to die for all that shit happening in g+, in my country and in the world...

I give up... once and for all...