Living and learning...

What have I learned by living?...

To say goodbye to people I love, without removing them from my heart... 

Smiling at people who do not like me, to show them that I'm different from what they think...

Pretending that everything is alright, when it is not true, so I can believe that everything will change... 

To Shut up to listen... 
Learn from my mistakes but also from the mistakes of others... After all I can always try to be better... 

To fight against injustice... 
To smile when what I most desire is yelling all my sorrows to the world... 

To be strong when your beloved ones are in trouble... 

To be affectionate with everyone who needs my tenderness... 

Listening to everybody that just need to unburden... 

To understand those who hurt me or want me just to deposit their frustration and disaffection... 

Forgiving unconditionally  because we all will need forgiveness someday... 

Loving unconditionally, because I also need to be loved... everybody does... 

The cheer to those in need... 

To ask for forgiveness... 

Dreaming woken up... 

To wake up to reality (whenever necessary)... 

To enjoy every moment of joy and happiness... 

To be shameless to cry for longing... 

To have eyes to "see and hear stars". although not always being able to understand them... 

To realize the charm of the sunset... 

To feel the pain of a goodbye and of what is over, always fighting to preserve all that is important for the happiness of my being... 

To open my windows for love... 

Not to fear the future... 

Taught me and is still teaching me to enjoy the present, as a gift she gave me, and to be conscious to use it like a diamond that I  have to  lapidate, giving its shape the way I choose.

Whoever 4ever...

I was wondering...

Is there anywhere in this world, as a rehab for broken hearts? 

I not even know what feeling this is anymore. It can not be love or passion. But it's something that doesn't let me stop thinking about him even for a second... 

Have you ever woken up with a song in your mind, that lasts all day long even if you try to sing other songs...but the same song is there "tormenting you" even being the song you most like, it torments you...

That's how I feel about him...It begins to be a torment!!!

I think it's an obsession. And the definition for obsession in this case is: "A Compulsive preoccupation. A state in which someone thinks about someone or something constantly or frequently, especially in a way that is not normal". That' s me !!! Obsession is me!!!

Yes I think I can find lots of rehabs for obesession...

I wish I could get away. To go somewhere longing(saudade) could not find me, pain could never hit me and memories would not make any difference in my life...  

But...life goes on. 

A new step begins in my life: Two independent kids, my mother in law does not live with me anymore, she is  in a residence for seniors with Alzheimer disease... I am home alone. 

I am alone...But I am not lonely... I have  somebody. Somebody who knows all about me. About my feelings, my blog, my friends on g+, my obsessions... and even though he wants me by his side. Maybe he is obsessed too...(smile).  

We decided not to live together, in the same house.   We just share love, friendship, joy and even sadness and pains... That is enough for me. And for him too. I can not say I am deeply passionate for him. But I like him very much and in a very special way. 
He treats me in a very kind and loving way...

But... 

How about "Whoever 4ever?" Unfortunatelly he goes on stuck on my heart... How is it? Why??? I wish it could be easy to explain. With answers we can at least try to solve the problem, the torment...

Of course I am not in despair anymore. After we stopped talking I missed him so badly that anything that made me remember him (and everything did) also made me cry...

It was such an endless wish of justing listening to his voice... But after almost one year not having news about him my heart got quieter. But if it didn't, instead of calling this feeling an obsession, we could call it: " a total madness!!!" 

And besides, lately I have read a lot about "Romance Scam". Yes because, as some people who read my History "The Scammer I Love" know he is a scammer. That he tried to take my money with lots of lies and promises of eternal life together and so on...

Definition for "Romance Scam": "It's a confidence trick involving feigned romantic intentions towards a victm, gaining her affection, and then using that goodwill to commit fraud."  

Of course since the beginning I felt something wrong in this history. I am not a fool! But he was the best. He is not an idiot as some other scammers who also came to talk to me. He is polite, intelligent and caring... The others try to be but they don't convince. I think he had an intense coaching because he is really the best. He writes and speaks good English while the others don't. 

But... Although all his "virtues" in his dirty job he did not take the money he wanted from me. But he broke my heart and stayed here stuck 4ever... 

But "Whoever" will be always whoever, because he has not a face. Even the face I was sure I had seen on Skype may not be his.  There are pics of "him" everywhere in internet as stolen pics of a businessman from Canada.

People say that the scammers can see you live but I read that what you see on the video is not live. It's a recorded video they send at the same time. Is it possible? I don't know, and it doesn't matter anymore... What I know is that I don't videochat anymore. I like to talk to people all over the world to exchange ideas and different cultures. But video chat not anymore... Besides scammers I met also "crazy" guys all around!!!

People say scammers work in a way to make any mind so confused that the victim can not be sure about anything.

But "Whoever" has a voice... A voice I heard so many times on the phone... But  nowadays I am not even so sure if the "voices" were always of the same person. I have all our phone talks recorded. And they seem to be of the same person. In one of the phone calls, the longest one, of about 30 minutes, he was feeling very bad. He was having  asthma attacks.

And I can not forget that voice. That voice so strong and so sweet at the same time...

That voice that got me. On that day he was so fragile, not being able even to breathe good, as if he was asking me to take care of him. And all I wished on that moment was being by his side, to caress him, to take hold of him, to take care of him, to give him my own oxygen, because he was my beloved baby there, all alone feeling so bad... At least that was what I thought that day...

For me it doesn't matter if he is a white, a black or an any color man. If he is tall or not, fat or thin. It doesn't matter even if he is a scammer. Of course I am sure this relationship would never work for us, specially because the one who had feelings in this issue, was me for him. And besides I would never live with a criminal...

My heart is quiet about that. 

My good and bad memories with this man will never die. But those memories became just dreams. Strange as it may seem, all I still wish is being able to hear that voice again and its real owner even for a second...Even if he told me to stop talking about him, to finish all this history and forget him once and for all...

It doesn't matter whoever is the owner of this voice in the video below...

What matters is that I feel that his voice will be inexplicably stuck on my mind, heart, body and soul...4EVER...
So... He will be kept here into my heart. He has behaved himself for all the time, at least with me. I don't know how many hearts he has broken after  me but I am sure he did many because he is good in his "job".
I have been the naughty one here always talking about him...
But I... promise... promise? Not to talk about him anymore... This is the last text about him...Really???
                        I mean... I will try...  

    

http://youtu.be/8BYpwnmQtIw?list=UUY13kSgluWG8BydxKd8VZhw

Love is everywhere...

You are alone. You and all the fans of Flamengo Footbal Club. Don't be fooled, there are lots of people alone.
You are in front of the TV, and you devour two packages of Donuts while waiting for the phone to ring. 
Well... it could be today, it could be right now... a brand new love affair... 

Trimmm! It's your mother!... Who else could it be? Love makes no calls by telepathy. Love does not meet by appointment. It can come sooner than you expected and can find you unwilling to serious relationships. It may be right there by your side and you not even care. Or it may come too late and find you disillusioned, suspicious, full of dark circles in your thoughts... 
Then Love turns around and goes away. 
Why love never arrives on the right  time? 

Love appears when least expected and where you least imagine. You spend one whole party hypnotized by someone who neither sees you, and barely notices someone else who only has eyes for you!!! 
Today you feel devastated because you did not go to the beach this weekend. Your friends are there enjoying the sun and flerting with nice guys. You feel like  one ET in a big city. You seek refuge in a video store without foreseeing that even there, in the video store, you could find the person who would give meaning to your life... 
Love is like a nail scissors... It is never where we think it is... 

The only way is to direct the radar to the north, south, east and west. Your love can be in the aisle in a supermarket, can be impatient in line at a bank, choosing books in a bookstore, humming a song alone in his car stopped at a traffic light. Can be right here at the computer... but be careful!!! There are lots of "romance scammers" in internet too! 
Love is everywhere, you are not looking right. 

The first lesson is given: love is everywhere. 
Now the second: but is unpredictable. 
Do not expect to hear "I love you" at a dinner by candlelight, on Valentine's Day. Or receiving flowers after you make love for the first time with him. 
Love hates clichés... be careful again! Scammers "love clichés" not love you... 
You may suddenly hear "I love you" on a Tuesday, at four o'clock, after an argument, and the flowers will arrive on the day you get a driver's license, after approval of the beacon test.
You have just to understand and accept that:
Idealize is suffering.
And Love...Love is surprising... 

http://youtu.be/foL1GE4VaJY

Martha Medeiros

The Strip-Tease...

She arrived at his apartment at around six in the evening and felt a nervousness out of the ordinary. Before entering, she thought once more what she was going to do. It would be her first time. 
She had already gnawed fingernails of both hands, but could not go back. She rang the doorbell and on the other side of the door, he took no more than two seconds to answer. He was anxious to know what she wanted to talk to him.

He asked if she wanted a drink. She did not. 
He asked if she wanted to sit down. She refused. 
He asked what he could do for her. 
The answer: no foreplay... I want you to listen to me... simply. 

Then she began "to undress" as she had never done before. 

And then she began to undress her heart:
"I have said that you do not interest me much, but it's not true You're the most special person I have ever met... Not for being beautiful or because you think like I do about so many things, but for something bigger... and deeper than your good look and the affinity we match.  
Being my true me is what matters at least at the moment, to say what I feel. "

Then she got rid of her arrogance: 
"I do not know how I got legs to come to your house, I thought I would not dare. But now I'm here and I need you to know that:
Every song that plays you are with me listening to it... 
I share with you every word I read... 
Every moment of wonder I feel it as if you were by my side... 
You are ingrained in who I am, you have become part of my story. "

All her modesty was being undone: 
"I kiss mirrors, I hug cushions , caress myself with you in my mind. And even when the things I do are less important, such as reading a magazine or washing a stocking, I do it  in your companionship ". 

She withdrew fear: 
"I am no better or worse than anyone else, I'm just someone who is learning to deal with love. I feel that it is real. I feel it is strong and I feel that love is what we all seek and hope to find". 

Finally, the last piece fell, leaving her soul completely naked: 
"I want to live with you, but that's not why I came here.  The intention is only to let you know that I love you and I wish you think about it. 
I know love is not something you shuttle immediately, just to be kind. 
If you ever love me in the same way I love you, let me know and I'll come back and we will resume where it was left off... Because we stop here. "

And then she left the apartment feeling more womanly than ever. 

Martha Medeiros

Me: how to use

You can invade or come gently, but not so slowly that make me sleep... 
Do not yell at me, I have a bad habit of retaliating... I wake up in the  morning in a great mood ... but let me stretch first... 
Then you can touch me and caress me, especially in the hair, and lie about my knockout beauty... 
Have your own life, make me miss you badly when you are not by my side... 
Tell a few things that make me laugh, but do not tell me bad jokes and do not be judgmental... 
Travel before meeting me, suffer before meeting me so you will recognize me as a safe harbor... 
I go into account, you will not spend a lot to me... Believe the truths I say and also the lies, because the lies  are very rare and always for a good cause... 
Respect my crying, leave me alone, just come back when I call you, but do not always obey me... I also like being contradicted, so... stay with me when I cry... deal? 
Be stronger than me and less altruistic... 
Do not dress so well, I like shirt untucked... 
I like arms, legs, and what I most like is the neck...  
I will  awe all the things on you which are my  taste: mouth, lips, smile, eyes, your glance and a skinned knee, you have to flay sometimes even at your age... Read, choose your own books, reread them... 
Hate domestic life and also the exciting night life. Be a little homey and a bit of life, not  nightclubs 'cause that's something that makes people sad... 
Do not be a slave to television, nor totally against... Nor my slave, nor my son, nor my father... 
Choose a character for you that has not  been invented yet and invent some other once in a while... 
Make me crazy sometimes but make me a crazy good...
Like music and sex... 
Play a sport not very banal...
Let me drive your car that you love so much...
I want sometimes to see you nervous, restless, looking at other women, making friends and meeting them to say nonsense together... 
Do not tell me your secrets 'cause I will never tell you mine... 
Do not smoke, but drink sometimes, cry, laugh... Elect some misdemeanors.... Kidnap me! 

If all this fails ... just love me!

Martha Medeiros

Out of fashion

If it were not so unfashionable, I would talk about...LOVE.

That sincere love, eye to eye, that cold tommy feeling, that painful fear feeling of losing that wonderful moment in your life . 

Those moments that only who has loved somebody knows . 

That wish of sharing everything and conquer all things, but not to retain them in the material possession of selfishness, but to donate them in the noble feeling of love. 

If  it were   not   so   unfashionable,   I   would  talk 

about ...SINCERITY. 

You know, that old business of Fidelity, Mutual Respect... and all those other things that are no longer valuable. 

That feeling that inebriates more than a drink and that means having in a single person, the sum of all 

the things that sometimes we seek in so many ... 

The admiration for the virtues and the acceptance for defects but, above all, the respect for the individuality that sometimes we judge it belongs to us, but that each one of us has the right to posses... 

If   it   were   not     so   unfashionable,  I would talk 

about... FRIENDSHIP. 

That friendship that should exist between two people who like and wish the welfare of each other... 

The support,  the interest, the solidarity, the union beyond the feelings, the dedication to understand before liking ... 

If it were not so unfashionable, I would talk 

about... FAMILY.    Yes Family! 

This institution that lately lives on the brink of bankruptcy, suffering continuous and violent "assaults". 

Father, Mother, Brothers, Sisters, Children, Home ... 

That greater good of having a community united by blood ties and protected by divine blessings. 

A haven of peace in the world, the warmth of the address, the source for having some rest, and the renewal of energies. 

And at last  I would maybe  talk about something 

like ... HAPPINESS. 

But it is a pity that happiness, like everything else, 

for a long time has already been so unfashionable 

and has given place to the fads of civilization ... 

Even so, I wish you all,  a life filled with those issues so unfashionable but that  undoubtedly make such a big a difference! 

After all, what harm is there in being a bit...

OUT OF FASHION?

Sex...Love...

Making love is beautiful... It is sublime, is charming, is splendid. 

But making sex is fucking good!

Making sex  is that action when someone pulls your hair from the nape ... 

He calls you names I could not write here ... 

He suddenly rolls you... and do not think he will be gentle ... 

You do not feel ashamed of animals rhythms!

Making sex is good! 

Better than making sex , is just fucking for fucking! 

Fucking not wanting to have a realtionship .... 

Not wishing to introduce him to your family ... 

Not wanting to share the first hug in the New Year. 

Just fucking because the guy heats up your

backbone!!! ... 

It makes you flattered!...

Making sex is good because life is stressful and it makes you relax...  

There are some people who  you will end up making sex with... useless to want to escape... 

Making sex not expecting to hear promises, not waiting to hear caring words, not expecting to talk about the future... 

Making sex just for sex is good for a time... 

For one month...  

For some frantic people, perhaps for some years... 

But making sex just for sex, makes you empty. 

Sex for sex  is winning nothing... 

It is not winning the words "I Love You" lost quietly in the middle of a dark room... 

You do not win a hand on your shoulder to support you when the chaos of the city seems to want to abduct you. 

You do not have someone wanting to stay with you forever, to be introduced  to your family, to be the first one to share a very tight hug in the New Year.

Someone to talk and make plans for a life together , and that will tell you: Love, what do you think about that?  

It is not having who to call up when receiving good news. 

It is not wanting to have someone to cuddle and snuggle and just sleep together...  

But making sex is inevitable! Take it, make it, do it a lot!!! It's fucking good! 

But never forget, much more than anything, give a chance to love. 

Yes... This is when you do really get the greatest pleasure! 

When you "make love" with that one you love, is when you truly relax, heals the bad mood, alleviates all the crises and makes you float and fly...

Try to love... and feel how it is to be really loved ...
Will it be forver? It does not matter. What matters is that it will be eternal while it lasts...

text in portuguese:

Tati Bernardi

A brain collapse...

The following letter was found in the pocket of a corpse: 

Dear Mr. Prosecutor,

I committed suicide! 

Do not blame anyone for my fate. I left this life because if I stayed alive here for one day longer , I would eventually die mad! 

I will explain to you, Mr. Doctor: I had the misfortune to marry a widow, who had already an adult daughter; if I knew what would happen, I would never have married her. 

My father, to the greatest misfortune, is a widower, and he unfortunately fell in love with and married the daughter of my wife. 

The result was that my wife became my father's mother in law. My stepdaughter became my mother and my father became my son in law. 

After some time, my daughter gave birth to a child who came to be my brother, but my wife's grandson, and I became the grandfather of my brother. 

Sometime later, my wife also gave birth to a boy who became my mother's brother and my father's brother in law and uncle of himself. In this way my wife became daughter in law of her  own daughter. 

So I became my mother's father, becoming a brother to my son, my wife became my grandmother, as she is my mother's mother, and so I ended up being the grandfather of myself. 

So before everything became more complicated, I decided to finish it once and for all!!! 

My brain collapsed.... and I killed myself!!!

Kissing good...

Ok: we want to find someone beautiful, intelligent and witty. Someone who is not too extrovert and not conceited but who has a captivating conversation and is fallen for us. 
But what if he is a bad kisser? No chance at all!!! 
He has to kiss good... 

But when I hear someone saying that somebody is so-and-so kisser, a bad kisser, I almost come back to believe in fairy tales. 
The good is the fortunate to two mouths that enter into communion. Can a "Rafael" kiss a "Ana" and the kiss be a volcanic explosion!!! Bur the same  "Rafael" can kiss a "Cristina" lips and be a meeting to sleep... People do not kiss good or bad: couples kiss good or bad. There are always two involved. 

The definition of a good kiss is that it may be questionable, but who is in the midst of the event almost always recognizes the sublime kiss. 

Nice kiss is a wished and decided kiss, even if the decision is to take it slowly far away...sooo good... 

Good kiss is a wet kiss when the kissers donate all there is to donate in the oral cavity without aseptic, absolute surrender. 

Good kiss is unhurried kiss, which was not condemned by the hands of the clock, which is lost in dark mazes since it is good to remember, we have our eyes closed... 

Kiss is good when you can not stop even if you wanted to. 

Good kiss is not allowing our thoughts to take shape and fly to another place... Our mind is there, stuck on the kiss... 

Is there a bad kiss? Yes there is: a soulless kiss, a too polite kiss,a short kiss, a kiss full of controlled movements,  a dry kiss. 

But one thing is certain: it's necessary two to make it cold or make it hot. Everyone can kiss good, our lips have just to  meet whom.

After all, a real good kiss is the kiss given by the person who we are completely in love. 

http://youtu.be/kFfKb_WEkCE

Martha Medeiros

The pain that hurts most...

Locking a finger in a door hurts. 
Hitting the chin on the floor hurts. 
Twisting the ankle hurts. 
A slap, a punch, a kick, hurt. It hurts to hit the head on the edge of the table, biting the tongue hurts. Colic, caries and kidney stone, hurt. 
But what hurts more... is missing... 
Missing a brother who lives far away... 
Missing a childhood waterfall... 
Missing the taste of a fruit that we can't find anymore... 
Missing the dear parent who has died... 
Missing a good friend I have not met anymore... 
Missing a city where I have lived... 
I miss myself, when I had more courage and no white hair... 
Missing all those things hurt... 
But the most painful longing is the longing for the beloved one...I miss the skin, the smell and the kisses... I miss his everyday presence, and even a consented absence... I could stay in a room and he in the other room, without seeing each other, but I knew he was there... I could go to the airport and he to the dentist, but we knew ourselves where. I could stay a day without seeing him, he, a day without seeing me, but we knew we had a tomorrow... 
But when the love of one ends, the other leaves a longing that no one knows how to stop... 

Longing is not knowing... 
I do not know anymore if he continues with his allergies... 
I do not know anymore if he dyes his hair... 
I do not know if he still wears the striped T-shirt that makes him look so handsome... 
I do not know if he is taking his medicines as he promised... 
I do not know if he is eating healthy and if he is still, a vegetarian...
If he still smiles, if he still works out..
If he is in love...

Longing is not knowing... 
Not knowing what to do with the days that became longer... 
Not knowing how to find tasks that make you cease thinking... 
Not knowing how to stop the tears when listening to our song...
Not knowing how to overcome the pain of a silence that fills nothing. 

Longing is wondering if he's with someone, if he is happy, if he is skinnier, if he is more handsome... 

And above all,  even not wanting to know anything about him, and try not to wonder anymore...
The love goes on... The longing doesn't vanish...

...and it hurts...

Me...

When I am sad I get silent 

When I am mad I get stupid 

When I'm boring I get lucid 

When I'm sexy I get smart 

When I'm blind I get a seer 

When I'm needy I get insane 

When I am naughty I get cool 

When I'm dry I get empty 

When I'm cold I get distant 

When I'm hot I get oily 

When I'm perk I get so many  

When I am holy I get ice 

When I'm salty I get raw 

When I am pure I get attempted 

When I'm sitting I get tall 

When I'm young I get a maiden 

When I'm pretty I get futile 

When I am working I get perfect 

When I'm wondering...

I am yours...

Your own game...

From north to south, from east to west, everyone wants to be happy. It is not an easy task. At first, it would be sufficient to have health, money and love, which is already a commendable package, but our desires are even more complex. 

It is not enough that people are without fever. We want health, to be very thin, healed, irresistible. Money? It is not enough to pay the rent, the food and the film. We want a lap pool, a Louis Vitton purse and a season in a five-star spa. 
What about love? Ah, love ... not just to have someone you can talk, share a pizza and have sex occasionally. This is to think small...
We want to be viscerally passionate, want to be surprised by statements and unexpected gifts. 
We want candlelit dinner from Monday through Sunday. We want wild sex daily and we want to be happy thus and not otherwise. 

That's what you see so much television. Just forget trying to be happy in a more realistic way. Why can we not be happy forming a pair, and not as odd? Having a steady partner is not synonymous with happiness, unless the happiness of being corresponding to the expectations of society, but that is another matter. You can be happy single, happy with some occasional novels, with three partners happy, happy no. There tiny love, especially when it comes to self-love. 

Money is a blessing. Who has need to enjoy it, spend it, enjoy it. Do not waste time gathering, gathering, gathering. Just enough to feel secure, but not imprisoned. And if we have little bit with this is that it will try to hold the wave, trying to leave things for free, like a little humor, a little faith and a little creativity. 

Being happy in a realistic way is to accept the possible and the improbable. 
Doing exercises without aim walkways, work without crave stardom, love without the eternal aim. 
Watch the clock: time to wake up. 
It is important to think the extreme, look inside what moves us, instigates and leads, but not require inhumanly. 
Life is not a game where only those who test their limits is what takes the prize. 
Let's not be naive victims of such competitiveness. 
If the goal is too high, reduce it. If you are not in accordance with the rules, resign yourself. 
Invent your own game.

Addicted...

There is nothing worse than being addicted to something. Smokers, alcoholics, workaholics, junkies, all are Ph.D in slavery. 

But the most harmful addiction is the addiction to another person, that many people confuse with love. True love liberates... 

Addiction is cage... 

You may have said to a friend, or heard from him: --- -that thing you feel is a disease! 
And it is nothing more than a disease. 
The symptoms are easily recognizable. You have a chaotic relationship. Discuss for many hours a day. One is from Mars, the other from Venus. One day the planets collide and your world collapses. 

If it were love, what would come after the breakup? Revolt, tears, longing, a brief would relapse, more tears, more longing, until gradually a certain peace would arise, the self-esteem would be  back and love would turn into memory. 
With your heartbroken, you would search for a new romance and start all over again. It is not a quick process, but it is more or less like that. 

Addiction? no please. If you're addicted to someone, go only halfway: anguish, tears, longing and relapse. And stop there. Insist on relapse. Anxiety makes you do crazy things to get your love back, and when you can have five minutes with him, you throw yourself voluptuously: you smoke, you smell, you drink the guy up to the last drop. After that? A heady feeling of healing. No, you do not need him anymore. You can very well live without him. You do not even think he is attractive, and you come back home feeling as a female medieval warrior. You won the fight with yourself!

Two weeks pass and then you call the phone company to see if your line is faulty. The phone just does not ring! Also your car no longer obey your orders: it drives alone into the street where your dear love lives, just to see if his motorbike is in front of the garage. And it is. So he did not return to Venus, he is still in the city. You start to cold sweat. Feel lightheaded. Go to the office and begin to chewing the office pencils, spills coffee on colleagues, trembles to hold the glass... 
Diagnosis: abstinence symptoms. You go after him. You need crazily an injection of affection in you vein. 

The end of this story? Does not exist. He needs it too, otherwise he would not open the door. 
We need to claim the urgent creation of an AP: Anonymous Passionate. 
Just as there are people who, to overcome alcoholism, avoid taking the first sip, some people need to learn to avoid the first meeting not reoccur for a love that is bad for their health.

I vanished because...

I vanished because I just make foolishness  in 

your presence. 

I get dumb when I should verbalize, say a nonsense 

after another when stay in silence would be the best, 

make jokes in bad taste and suffer before, during 

and after meeting you. 

I vanished because there is no future for us and this 

is not the hardest deal. The hardest is not to have a 

present and the past  being more fluid than the air.

I vanished because there is not what we can 

redeem.

My disappearance is coward but observant, half 

worthless, half authentic.

I vanished because vanishing is a game of patience. 

Vanishing is a risk and also wisdom. 

I seem uninterested, but I vanished to be always by 

your side...

Missing you will make more for us than my  love for 

you and its clumsy and thoughtless permanence.

http://youtu.be/2ntKgLxgY9s