Sadness

If I tell you that today I woke up sad, it was hard to get out of bed, even though the sun was showing outside and the sky inviting to the party of living, even though there were many steps to take, and I woke up sad and lazy to fulfill the rituals that I did not even pay attention to what I was doing like bathing, putting on some clothes, going to the computer, going out for shopping and for meetings...
If I say that was so, what will you say? If I tell you that today was not a day like the others, I did not find the energy not even to feel guilty for my lethargy, that today I woke up slowly and late and I had no desire for anything, how will you react?

Will you say: "cheer up"! and recommend me an antidepressant, or will you say that there are many people living  much more serious stuff than me (even not knowing the reason for my sadness)? 
Will  you tell me to put light clothes on, to listen to an invigorating music and go back to being the one who I have always been... a strong woman?

You will do this because you like me, but also because you are one more that does not tolerate sadness, not mine, not yours, nor anyone's. 
Sadness is considered an anomaly of humor, a contagious disease, it is better to be eliminated from the first symptom. 
Did you not smile today? Medicine. Did you feel like crying for nothing? Very serious, phone already for your psychiatrist.

The truth is that I woke up sad today, but everything is normal. When I'm sad, everything is normal too. Because being sad is common, it is as legitimate as feeling joy, it is a record of my sensibility, which sometimes laughs in group, other times searches for the silence and the solitude. Being sad is not being depressed.

Depression is very serious, continuous and complex thing. Being sad is to be attentive to myself, is to be disappointed with someone, or with myself, is to be a little tired of certain repetitions, is to discover me fragile on any given day, with no apparent reason.

Some people say that being sad with no aparent reason is a shame! Ok. Is it? Better to get out to parties, better to force a smile, better to say that it's alright, better to release the face. 
"I do not want to see you so sad," whispered Roberto Carlos(a brazilian singer) in the midst of his song. Everyone sings the sadness, but few people face it indeed. The efforts are not to understand it, but to disguise it, to choke it... 
The sadness, humble, just wants to enjoy it's right to exist, to ensure it's space in this society that exalts only the joy and that suspects who is so silent. 
Of course it is better to be happy than to be sad but even better is no one depriving me to feel what I feel. 

There are days that I am not to samba, to rock, to hip-hop, and not for seeking magic pills to camouflage my insight, or to accept invitations to parties where I have nothing to offer... 
Let me still... because stillness is storage of strength and wisdom...
Soon I will be  back... 
I always come back... 
Announcing the end of another pain... 
And then... comes the next...

http://youtu.be/RTCwbRUGDVE

Martha Medeiros