Love Again

The first pain when a relationship ends is when we, 
going on loving, have to get used to the absence of the other, 
with the sense of loss, rejection and lack of perspective... 
We are still so wrapped in grief that we can not see light 
at the end of the tunnel. 
The most excruciating physical pain is the lack of kisses and hugs, 
the pain of becoming unimportant to the one we love. 

But when this first pain passes, we begin another farewell ritual: 
The second pain, that is the pain of abandoning the love we felt. 
It is when we begin to glimpse the light at the end of the tunnel. 
The pain of emptying the heart, removing the longing to be free, 
with no special feeling for that person. It hurts too ... 

In fact, we cling to love as much as the person who created it. 
Many people complain about not being able to come off someone.
It is that without realizing it, we do not want to come off. 
That love, even not mutual, became a souvenir, 
the memory of beautiful experienced moments... 
It has become a huge unvaluable good . it is a feeling to which 
we cling. It is part of us. 
We want, of course, to go back being happy and available, 
but this requires giving up something that was dear for us for a long time, 
which somehow is ingrained in us, and only with great difficulty we can drive it away.
It's a milder, an almost imperceptible pain. 
Perhaps, therefore, tends to last longer than the first pain.
It is a pain that confuses us. Seems to be that same first pain, 
but it's another. The person who left us no longer interests us, but the love we felt for him is still very important! That love which justifies us as human beings, 
which puts us in the statistics: "I love, therefore I exist." 

To say farewell to a love is saying farewell to yourself. 
It is the conclusion of a story that ended externally without our agreement, 
but that also needs to get out from within us ... 
But only then, we feel we can love again.


Martha Medeiros