The SCREAM

-I do not know what's happening to me, says the patient to the psychiatrist.
But she knows...
-I do not know if I really like my girlfriend, says one friend to another.
But he knows...
-I do not know if I want to continue with the life I have, I think quietly.
But yes I know...
We know everything we feel because something within us cries. We try to stifle this cry with foolish talk, lucubrations, esotericism, dynamic readings, virtual dating, but no matter the method that we will use to search for a truth that fits in our plans: will be fruitless. The truth is already within, the truth is imposed, speaks louder than us, it SCREAMS!!!
We know if we love someone or not, even if it is written that it is a worthless love, a love that  rejects us, a love that will not result in anything. 
We often divert this love for another love, an acceptable love, easy, serene. 
We can give all the evidence to the world that we do not love that person and that we love the other one, but we know, there inside us, who's in the control of our heart.
The truth screams. Causes fever, is in our eyes, develops ulcers. Our body is the house of truth, come from within all the information that will undergo a special screening: some truths we leave out other imprisons us. But the truth is only one: nobody doubts about himself.
We can spend years dedicating ourselves to a job knowing that it will not bring us emotional reward. 
We can live with a person even though she can not be trusted, and we know that. We do these choices because they are the most sensible or practical, but they do not always agree with the cries from within, those voices that say, go this way, if you prefer, but you were born to go to the opposite way. 
Even happiness, as propagated, may be an alternative option to that we closely desire. We fulfill all the ritual, do everything as expected, and we are happy... wow, how happy we are! 
But  the cry inside: -"you did not want that false happiness, you wanted just to live!
-I do not think I would have the courage to throw it all away...
Yes I do....
-I do not know why I'm like that.
Yes... I know....

Martha Medeiros